Wyatt Colen crowned 2013 Cramik Cup Champ

“Quiet” Wyatt Colen took home the cup championship cash yesterday at the finally-run #5 Cramik Cup stop that had been postponed for 6 months.  Event organizers, feeling the heat of the prolonged delay and the disgruntlement of the competition field, chose to make the call to run the event on Wednesday, even though stormy weather was predicted for Saturday.

Mixed conditions met the competitors as they laced them up for early sessions at Stadiums and Pipes, but the swell died throughout the afternoon and by the time low tide came at 5:15 the pickings were meager. To add to the drama, even with a negative low tide, Lefts was unable to provide much running room and most waves were not evening breaking, just more of a tide push along the rocks and over the pylons, creating a hazardous environment for the crew.

Event host, Thomas Heins “57” who chose not to attend, was reached by phone and said, “hey, I called it for 8 AM at Montara where the v pocket in the trench was 8 foot overhead going little sister. But I was overruled with a Lefts call.  Whuuuut? Lefts?  Place hasn’t had sand in 2 years…” His voice trailed off with seeming disgust at event organizers and their failure to run the final cup stop at Montara, per his direction.  Event organizers did not respond to interview requests by the time of this posting.

Quiet, nursing a pulled quad that was so severe he only ran (hobbled) for 2 waves, but those 2 were enough to garner him 4th place and retain his lead over Sam WeekS “auce”.  Weaksauce was the model of consistency the entire 2013 cup season, but just came up a mere 5 points short in the end.  Dustin “Deebo” Boone won the event (his 2nd in a row, tying him with Wyatt for most wins on tour this season) after a slow start and retained his 3rd place status.

After the event was over, Cup Photographer Nikki Crocker was seen disseminating nourishment to the fatigued and exhausted competitors after an hour long megaheat that settled the whole thing.  Though the conditions were not the greatest, the 2013 cup season was widely considered a huge success, or disastrous failure depending on whom you spoke with.  Deebo said, “all events should be run in Bodega.”  This led to a firestorm of chatter about which event had the best waves.  Clearly, it was Baker Beach that provided the best conditions for event 1 and even event 6 at Baker was widely considered to be exceptional, leaving many in the crowd mumbling that all events should be held at Baker.

In any event, the future of the Cramik Cup is very much in question.  Event organizers are drafting a new plan and studying proposals from other agencies to determine the best course for the remainder of 2014.  Cramik Cup Chairman, Andres Alegria said, “look, our sponsors are still firmly in place and behind us.  We just need to fine tune a few things and evaluate our positioning and growth direction for the new season.”  He added, “we’re not going anywhere.”

When asked for his thoughts on the matter, Quiet said “hey, I leave that up to those guys, I just want to absorb the glow of being the cup champ right now, can’t you let me do that? Jeez. You guys (the media) are always trying to stir it up.”

The Dres on finishing 6th, “I went BFF and all it got me was a 6th place finish and a pulled hammy, thanks a lot JJ Lawrence. FFF returns with a vengeance next season.”

Thomas “2-Time” Corwin on finishing 5th for the year, “I need to reevaluate my team and conditioning. Obviously I should have placed higher, the judging has been a little suspect all year.”  Weaksauce concurred, “if I wasn’t blatantly robbed in the 1st event then we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.”

League officials will surely be reviewing the comments and handing down fines in the coming days for the critical comments on judging, which is a cramik no-no.  Deebo didn’t seem to care, “look, they can do what they want, I’m a free agent now and my agent has been in negotiations with the UST, so we’ll just have to see what’s best for me and my family going forward.”

And so ends the 2013 Cramik Cup.  The Dres said, “huge success, we’ve never been stronger. Our hats are off to Wyatt for his fabulous season and being the cramik champ.  Thanks to all who participated and made this season the best ever.”